Corey, if walking around shirtless was an Olympic sport, you'd be the reigning champion—too bad the only medals you'll ever win are for awkward stares and unsolicited eye rolls. It's like you think your body is a work of art, but it's more like a toddler’s finger painting. Maybe focus on wearing a shirt next year; the world is not ready for that level of anabolic confusion. Seriously, even your mirror is asking for a break from that kind of commitment to the aesthetic.
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2025 love life predictions
hookups
9
heartbreaks
28
relationships
7
situationships
28
In your upcoming love life, it looks like you'll master the art of juggling 28 situationships like a clown at a circus, while your heart gets broken more times than a piñata at a kid's birthday party. Seven relationships? More like a series of unfortunate events with bonus heartbreaks! At this point, your dating history should come with a warning label: 'May cause emotional whiplash.' And those nine hookups? Let’s just say they’ll be more like pit stops on your emotional highway—quick, chaotic, and with no clear destination.