2025 Roasts and Resolutions

Stop trying to convince Beatrice that holding it in works.

You know, if you spent as much time working on your relationships as you do explaining how to hold in your feelings, you might actually get somewhere. But let's be real, your emotional range is about as wide as a clock's hands at midnight—stuck and going nowhere. Maybe next year, try letting it out instead of keeping it bottled up like your questionable taste in art. Just a thought, but your therapist might appreciate it too.